SsssssuuuUUUuuuttttTTTTTAAaaaaHHhhhhh……!!
A beginner’s guide to smoking
“Sutta”, as we all know is an integral part of NIT life, wether you are a smoker or not. And being one of the most extensive passive smokers of this coll (thanks to “Bulla the smoking barrel”, “Anurag Fukadiya”, “Mr. Ravan”, “Mr. MM” and many more……), my knowledge about cigarettes is almost at par with any regular smoker. Here I will like to advertise some of the most famous sutta brands of this coll with their characteristic properties and their behavioural effects, so that the talented future hidden smokers of this coll don’t come out of the jail “Empty headed”. And so, if you wise ass guys who know much more about Sutta than written in this article, please, I beg your pardon, THIS ARTICLE IS NOT FOR YOU!!!
The cigarettes are arranged in increasing order as per their cost, do not blame me if the inflation rate changes the price after I write the article.
Starting with the most shocking
LOHA CHAAP BEEDI or MOTHER INDIA BEEDI:-
Cost:- 8-10 beedis cost a single Rupee
Popularity rating :- ZERO if you don’t have 3 Rs in your pocket, else its sent from heaven.
Filter quality:-1 rupaye main kya bhagvan se miloge.
Strength:- Tooooo Strooonngggg….
Ran out of money, no one to lend you a cigarette, here comes the Beedi man. Every regular smoker has been through this critical stage. Reminds you of the most depressing times. And you Girls, do ask your boyfriends that are their phone bills pushing them to this stage. These semi-sutta brands are mostly famous among 4th year guys, who with their heavy budget placement parties are always short of money and are at the same time also most addictive to cigarettes. As already mentioned it is too strong for the starters but in the later time be prepared for this.
FLAKE, CHAR MINAR, CHARMS, MOMENTS, RED AND WHITE, CAVENDERS:-
Cost:- Char Minar & Cavenders cost 1Rs, Charms and Moments cost 1.5 Rs, and Red and White Flake cost 2 Rs.
Popularity rating:- 1 and half star.
Filter quality:- Charms comes with a weak filter, Moments and Flake have a bit better filter and rest come without it.
Strength:- All of these are strong cigarettes not advisable to Starters.
These are some low cost less popular cigarettes. If you are low at money and still not willing to switch to a beedi, these are some of the best options.
Here comes the King of all times
GOLD FLAKE:-
Cost:- 1 Gold Flake costs 3 bucks…..and magically two cost 5 bucks.
Popularity rating :- 4 and half.
Filter quality:-Average
Strength:- Mild.
Gold Flake….. For most of the boys in this college this is the only GF they have (sry for the zeher). This golden cigarette crosses all charts of popularity and its sales are beyond any count. This strong tobacco cigarette comes with a small filter just enough to cancel the bitterness and lets you get a rich puff of its glittering smoke. No matter from which cigarette you have started, but your final destination is here. It’s almost every regular smoker’s regular cigarette. For all other cigarettes you will have to move to KHOKA (after the sad demise of Apollo canteen), but this cigarette is available in the NIT campus at 2 hidden stations besides the PG hostel. Most of you guys will kill me for such a short description for this beautiful cigarette, but trust me, there is more to feel in this cigarette than to read…..
WILLS CLASSIC:-
Cost:- 5 bucks…
Popularity rating :- 3 and a half
Filter quality:- good
Strength:- Light and smoooooooth……
Comes in three Flavours: -
Regular: - Best for Starters.
Menthol: - Smells like Centre Fresh but may fell throat chocking and is also said to effect your testosterone level.
Milds:- Not very Popular….has a bit different taste.
This is the second most popular brand of NIT. Most of the starters begin with Classic. But after you first Economics sessional, you get to know that its better to invest 5rs to get 2 GFs rather than a single large Classic. But I must admit, had this brand been a little cheap, I would have never quit smoking. All regular smokers do switch to this brand for a change. All you aspiring smokiee freshers, start collecting all the 5rs coins you get……cause believe me, you are going to need them desperately after some time.
GOLD FLAKE KING SIZE:-
Cost: - 5 bucks…
Popularity rating: - 2 stars
Filter quality: - Good…… and is also claimed to have a drug known as SNACK…..whatever that means.
Strength: - Smooth and light………
This large size sister of the smaller GF is not much famous for some unknown reasons. Though I personally found this brand better than any other mentioned above. May be Wills pays some commission to “Kalu” and “Meghnath” for not promoting this brand…..
MORE :-
Cost:- 5 bucks…
Popularity rating :- I hope some of you have heard of it.
Filter quality:-very good.
Strength:- Too Light even for a starter.
This is a special women’s brand. Its longer and less broad shape ensures that you don’ t burn your lipstick. Though I have hardly seen a any girl smoking in the NIT campus, I hope the time is not far when NIT market will be filled with girls smoking MORE. But all you regular smokers don’t waste 5 Rs after reading this article ‘cause it would be like breeze of fresh air for you.
GODAM GARAM:-
Cost:- 8 bucks…
Popularity rating :- 3 star
Filter quality:-Nice
Strength:- Smooth….also contains Clove.
Here comes the party time darling. This cigarette smells good even to passive smokers (due to its clove content). Being a very occasional cigarette (unless you want to F**K your self with debts), the sales of this cigarette are very low as compared to other brands….but its still the most wanted brand in NIT Kkr.
GANJA:-
Cost:- 25 bucks makes some 8-10 Cigarettes( Cigarettes charges extra)…
Popularity rating :- if you are an addict,you know it better….and if you are not,don’t bother
Filter quality:-Depends on the Cigarette used, but wont make any difference to the strength of smoke.
Strength:- Beyond all the scales….
And you thought I won’t write this one. Though this UN-BRANDED smoking thing comes a bit of scope of suttas, but still I would like to tell the freshers (and girls if you don’t know)…..
YES ITS AVILABLE HERE…….
Ask any one at the KHOKA and he will get it for you. But there are some traditions to be followed when smoking GANJA. 3 persons rotate a single cigarette anti-clockwise until the last puff. Then comes the next one….and the next one….and the next one…..and goes on until one of them falls out. Better be away from this one cause this can surely ruin your life.
Now Some Special Cigarettes for those who want to quit smoking.
CHANCELOR, THREE STAR AND KARTOOS:-
All these cigarettes cost you between 1-1.5 rs……make a stock of them at your room. So that you don’t have to buy any more GF’s. And this way you will either smoke any of these or leave smoking for a time. These 3 have been regarded as the worst cigarettes of all times. Start smoking these and you will start hating cigarettes. They are more fatal when you are TALLI, cause you’ll surely puke after smoking any of these. If anyone of you guys are addicted to any of these……I would like to beg you for the sake of humanity…..PLEASE SMOKE ALONE!!!!
So this is it for now….for further details on smoking you may visit our website
www. Chutta-nahi-to-sutta-do.com or email us at beedi@jigerse.com
STATUTORY WARNING:- CIGARETTE SMOKING is Injurious to health.
